When I thought I was safe, age over 50, leader of the steering board of the conference, respected by the community, it happened that the conference where I usually go each year and that I organized in 2015, was co-located by several other ones. The other conferences were dominated by white and grey men. One of these white, grey stupid ones, managed to embarace me. He sat near to me and closed me in the raw so that I was somehow prisoner, and he talked loud while a presenter was presenting. He was telling me comments like “that speaker should rather make love to his wife than talking about emotions in computer games”. he was trying to invite me for dinner, and worst, he was performing ostentation of his projects worth millions of euro and invitation to participate in successfull research proposals. He managed to send the slides of his keynote.
I left the room in the middle of the session and I escaped to a conference that was addressing hacking of PC’s in Soviet in the 80’s. If it was not because of I was afraid of the stupid grey man coming there too, I would have enjoyed the talk about the PC’s in Soviet.
Should I tell the name of the rich, successfull, pig (not big but pig) professor? Or shall I ignore him?
I do not know about you, but in these cases I feel like it is my fault if somebody is behaving bad and I am tormented by the fear of being unpolite, stupid, source of problems.
4 thoughts on “#metoo and #me #still!”
I’m so sorry that that happened to you, Letizia. The misbehavior of others is never your fault. You are amazingly gracious and wise. People’s actions define them. You didn’t define that professor — he did that for himself.
Sorry to hear about what you experienced. It is sad that these things happen. This is obviously not your fault. Unless there is a better solution, maybe the conferences you frequent need a stricter code of conduct if they do not have one, e.g. https://icml.cc/public/CodeOfConduct. Behaviour of this sort should not be tolerated.
this is extremely useful. thanks a lot